Thursday, 24 May 2012

Trust issues in relationships. How should we trust? Totally, In percentages or we don't trust at all?


Having read a few books on relationships, partnership, love, courtship and marriage,  i found a common factor to them all. i realized how important trust and love is to any relationship.  speaking to people and relating with them on the issue, i also realized we all have different ideas on what trust is or should be.
A lady told me once, ''naturally when i meet a guy i do not expect him to trust me because i do not trust him either''. Then i wondered, how do you guys say you love each other? I have met with those who believe trust is the base on which a relationship grows and love is the nutrients that keeps it nourished, if  trust is lost, the relationship cant grow no matter how much love its got in it . something like,  there should be trust from the day you guys started dating so the love can grow. 
Certain categories of people also believes there cant be absolute trust, in fact, you give a particular percentage of trust so u are not disappointed . i find this quite interesting knowing you could actually push a scale on the level of trust you give in a relationship? wouldn't that be ''conditional love''? when you have certain things as yard stick before u give your love. or are we going to the point where it is possible to love without trust? and or relationship thrive on love only ?
What does trusting someone signify? what is the concept of unconditional love and trust ? knowing a love based on anything is conditional. e.g a love based on fear is conditional, love based on money is conditional, would a love based on trust too be conditional? would expectations and relationships mean same thing in relationship? 
These questions comes to mind and would need critical analysis. feel free to write your comments and opinions.



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2 comments:

  1. Anonymous2 June 2012 at 22:30

    I will say that love and trust are two different things and when you mingle them together, it becomes more complicated. Sometimes one needs wisdom to trust, which does not interfere with the love.

    To me, i try to handle each concept individually. Love can still be unconditional without having total trust. I might be wrong but it helps me understand people better.

    There are as many theories about different concepts as there are men on the surface of the earth.... It is very important to know what you believe and be ready to explain it. There is never a right answer to things of the heart. It is based on the individual.

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  2. Bookees6 July 2012 at 09:34

    To take the questions one after the other: Trust signifies reliance on a person or entity; reliance on a person's integrity, ability, strength, etc. In other words, it means having confidence in someone. Trust means placing your confidence in someone (a spouse, friend, relative) without any iota of doubt, and I believe you can't love without first trusting the person you claim to love. So the 2 are interwoven, even tho they appear different...

    Looking at love based on trust as condition...hmmm. I think it is and it is not. For you to love, you must trust! You must trust that the person deserves your love. You must not have doubt in the person's integrity, strength, ability...and so on. In that sense, I do not think it is conditional. However, love must still stand the test of trials - when one party fails, the gauge of trust shouldn't diminish especially since no one is perfect, and anything can go wrong. The confidence on ability, integrity, strength should still stand. Trust is a necessary feeling, and an inevitable fuel of love.

    Trust can only make love conditional when the person suddenly fails, and the failure is never forgotten, and is capitalised on. Such relationships will def hit a rock.

    So trust is necessary in boosting a successful relationship. It means TOTAL BLINDNESS to IMPERFECTIONS if there are.....

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